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HangTime Humor - Aerobatics with Bob

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HangTime Humor 02/18/09

Flying Aerobatics with Bob Wilson

    OK, guys and dolls. Listen up. I'm going to teach you how to fly precision aerobatics. You! In the back. Pay attention and quit laughing. It's not funny. Yes, Jose', you can fly your Miss-2 but you won't be able to do some of the maneuvers. In fact maybe only a loop. You've never done a loop before! Well, let's give it that old college try and see what develops.

    First thing, let's get those engines running. Right. Thatta boy. Take your transmitter and, oops, I have to run to the house and get my transmitter. Sorry. Back in a moment. Jose', you'll need a transmitter for this too. In your car? OK.

    Now, where was I? Oh yeah, we started our engines. No, Jose', you don't need to borrow some gasoline. You are an electric flyer, remember? I know, I know, you're getting forgetful. Just pay attention. OK? Ships on the ground so let's taxi out to the runway and get ready for take off. Oh, Paul, what do you mean your controls are reversed? OK, switch models in the transmitter. We'll all wait. Done? Fine.

    Jim, you know that funny looking thing on the front of your engine. We call it a propeller. No, not penellor. Anyway, it's quit turning. So, got it running again? We'll wait. Good.

    . Let's get in the air. Quit the yelling. It's not my fault you forgot to put the hold down bolts in the wings. Well, find the bolts and get them in. We'll wait. You're absolutely right, without the wings, you get a lot of vibration. Jose', I think you are going to need more than one rubber band to hold your wing on. OK, we'll wait.

    Lou, do I need to remind you that your packing tape covering just came off the top of your right wing? Oh, you see it. Goody. Well, no, I don't think it will fly without the top covering. No, I don't happen to have any packing tape with me. Your battery just died so you can't fly anyway. Come on, let's not start that sort of thing. Stomping the wing won't help. Anger management, remember?

    Yes, Gary, we'll stop and wait for you to glue your rudder hinges in the vertical fin back in. No, sorry, I don't have any CA with me, no epoxy either. The show must go on so why don't you and Lou just go sit this one out. We'll try another day. Rusty hinges?

    Gerry, what's that thing hanging out of the nose. The motor? I didn't think it was a bugger. OK, got it glued back in. Fine, but why do you only have one prop blade. No, I didn't see that thing whizzing past my nose. Well, you shouldn't have started the motor when it was hanging down on the ground anyway. I didn't say you were two slices of bread short of a sandwich. All I said is that it's time to go get a sandwich and have lunch.

    Bill, yes, you can hand launch. But I told you before that that Autogyro will not do the IMAC pattern. OK, go ahead and try. But, oh forget it. Jose' didn't you put a fresh battery pack in?

    Stan, everyone knows you're supposed to put oil in your gas mix. At your age you shouldn't be so forgetful. Sorry your engine froze up. Paul, those space aliens living underground at the end of the runway have left for the day. Their space ship called them up for a meeting. So you won't have any interference problems today from their radio messages to the mother ship. You'll be fine. Just fly. Aw, come on, you should have charged your batteries last night. Well, go out and pull it back to the safety area.

    Bill, I've got to give you credit, but still don't think the DC-3 will do too well at IMAC stuff. Yeah, go ahead. We'll try. Got to give you an A for effort.

    Bill, when one engine quits on the ground, it is customary to throttle the remaining engine back. That's why your DC-3 is spinning around like a top. No, the space aliens have not returned. Good, now that engine quit. Out of fuel, huh? Well, go out there and pick it up. Just don't forget to yell out loud and clear "on the runway." Well there were some airplanes on the runway. Earlier.

    Paul, we normally fly the gassers with a landing gear. I don't know, I never tried using CA to hold the landing gear on with a 40% gasser. No, you can't go out there and shoot the moles. You wouldn't be able to find them anyway and we'd end up with a lot of lead in the ground.

    Well, fellas, that about ends the Precision Aerobatic lessons for today. Tomorrow is Sunday and the weather is supposed to be great again.

    Where'd everybody go?




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